MOVING ON'

FEB 09
ill be on the road again.
indiana.
:)
here i come.
to live with my girrrl britt.
(a diff britt)
myhearthurts.
:/
long story on why im leaving.
but yea.

THROW ME AWAY!

tell me lets be friends.
throw away all the trying.
all the hope.
forget i ever liked you.
you want love, thats not the way to do it.
you dont GIVE UP!
you give it time.
wait it out.
do what you want.
dont tell me things i wanna hear.
telling me what you feel.

c a l i f o r n i a l o v e

april 2009
best time of my life.

im moving with tristan, and britt :)
long beach, california.
i cant wait.
one bed room apt.
3 amazing people.
sharing a room with the boy im falling for.
smiles everyday.
happiness every moment.
and fun every second.
<3

p i m p j u i c e

tristan john paul.
buttface.
roomate.
myheart.
my everything.
i just want you.
no one compares.
just be mine.
and ill be fine.
<3

say anything<3

i want to know your plans by say anything.

is amazing.is perfect.is everything on my mind.
<3

HAVE HOPE

life sucks.
there are ups and downs.
you never know whats going to happen
and when you are so set on something it might not happen
dont give up HAVE HOPE <3

a bit of advice for the wise

if you care about someone so much, dont try and stop liking them before you talk to them.
it hurts them more than you think, if you truly care about that person. impress them.
if you are falling in love with them even if you havent seen each other in person, stay with it.
youll fall deep together.apologize your ass off, and make sure they know you care.
im sorry, you are who i want.
you are always my #1.
please bby :/

i repeat that over and over.
im making him think about it.
my heart is full for this guy named tristan john paul.
i want it to stay like that.
he is my buttface through thick and thin
and im his dickhead, who fucks up
<3 think about it bby and stay.
ill impress you with the world.
<3<3<3

buttface

its time to impress you.

M A I N S Q U E E Z E

i cant get over you.
i like you.
impress you, DONE.
be there for you, DONE
i want it to be me and you.
i cant stop thinking about you babe.
<3

give it back

give me back my heart, its ready to love again.
its broken too, get a needle and sew it back.
its scarred, ill make it through.
just no more pain, no more hurt.
im leaving it behind.
look forward, have hope.
believe in love again <3

picture perfect.

to be continued...

TJP <3

if you only knew.
how much i smile.
how much im filled with happiness.
i cant wait, im soo excited to move with you.
a few more months :D
<3


tooo be continued:D

tattoo idea:D

part of these lyrics and a shark eating them :D
bayside:
Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
So I'll blame it on bad luck. I'll shake responsibility
And......

I spent some time in a bad place at 18, wishing I could see something through clear eyes.
Do you ever wake up to realize your life is meaningless?
Does it give you strength or lead you to your grave at a young age?

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
So I'll blame it on bad luck. I'll shake responsibility
And......

It seems that when I ran away from my past all my dignity, my faith, my pride got left back.
And now I think it's time that I realize self pity's meaningless.
Though I'm 10 feet deep,
I'll claw my way back out from in my grave.

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
So I'll blame it on bad luck. I'll shake responsibility
And say a hard life did this to me

But now I realize I'd give anything I have to walk a day in my old shoes. Wondering what my first smoke would be like, my first fuck, my next fuck up. Or the next band that would change my life and it changed my life.

Pound my knuckles hard against the floor.
My head against the wall.
But I did this to myself.
Assume it's just not worth getting back up
So I'll blame it on bad luck. I'll shake responsibility
And say a hard life did this to me

if you ever ....

need advice or wanna give it

aim;; lobotfrommyspace

hit me up:)

tears.

-they fall from my eyes, over and over
everytime i think about what we had, and how much i want it back.
come back, its all i want, i want the us back ... i want to be happy.
if its not you again, where is that someone to make me feel those feelings again.
i wanna feel my hands tremble when my butterflies are floating through my body and i wanna feel like everything around me is moving so fast but you and i are standing still, and our kisses send my heart to the stars.
where is this.
what happen?
i want it all back.

scars/pain/hurt

21 years;

and i dont know what the truth is.
ive been hurt so much.
these scars dont go away.
all the abuse is still here.
the pain of knowing hurts more than it all.
im sorry im a fuck up
im sorry im not good enough.
youre not the only person in the world.
blood will alway be thicker.
youre not the only person who hates me.
why cant anyone just love me.

wow.

"When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." -Dr Seuss

i want this.
i want that feeling.
i want my fairy tale back.
i want my life back.
i want to be happy.
i want to know someone cares about me.
i want to feel the warmth of having someone love me as much as i love them.
is that too much to ask!?!?

2k9

- 2009

i leave every bad time.
i leave every scared moment.
i leave every sad time.
i leave every look.
i leave every tear.
i leave every moment.
i leave every lie.
i leave every story.
i leave every day.
i leave every battle.
i leave every fight.
i leave every dream.
i leave every feeling.
i leave every scar.
i leave every smile.
i leave everything behind.


i know what i have now.
i gained and lost things.
im moving on.
im becoming what i need to be.
i got people now in my life who care.
leave all your bullshit behind.
make something of yourself.
become who you are.
close your eyes and dream about the times you are going to have.
dream for love tomorrow.
breathe for happiness everyday.
get money, get together, make yourself happy.
throw all the bad things away and move forward.
if you believe in it, it will happen.
have hope.
stay true.
stay you.


i know 09 will be a amazing year.
i got what i need, and nothing is standing in my way.
iloveyouall.
thanksforeverything.
<333

KENNY

life is not perfect.
friends come and go.
life is not fair.
death happens.
everyone goes.
tears are falling.
hands are shaking.
music is loud as can be.
breathing is hard.
body is cold.
people watch.
people help.
heart is dropping.
body is numb.
thoughts going through my head.
pictures of you.
life lesson.
love is lost.
good times remebered.
memories are kept.
what i choose is my choice.
hatered all around.
no smiles near.
shaking all over.
crying non stop.
feeling pain.
how many more can leave?
missing the should haves.
wondering the what ifs.
singing to the songs.
waiting for the comments.
late night talks.
the happiness.
replay the main songs over again.
sad faces.
RIP all over.
wanting to be next to you.
pain isnt going away.
missed meals.
the lost life.
headaches.
tears.
shaking.
music is louder.
sleeping it away.
time is passing.
music is playing.
heart is throbing.
teeth are chattering.
body is hurting.
heart is fatal.
breathing deep.
missing you.
cant stop.
feel sick.
runs around.
hide underneath bankets.
pulls hair.
louder music.
not talking.
running away.
help from others.
heart is pounding.
soul is scared.
why not me?
waiting for someone to answer.
life is short.
love is long.
biting my nails from nerves.
head is spinning.
thinking of things that could have helped.
wishing i was there.
trying to not let it get to me.
make up running.
fever is getting higher.
body is shutting down.
heart is broken.
dreams about you.
missing everything about you.
missing everything.
tears.
time is stopping.
questions are everywhere.
wishing it wasnt like this.
news everywhere.
people asking.
people knowing.
people sad.
why you.
why 5.
i cant believe this.
i didnt want this.
no one wanted this.
bestfriend.
amazing nights.
knowing whats up.
finding the enemy.
everyone goes.
death happens.
life is not fair.
friends come and go.
life is not perfect.
iloveyou.

imissyou.